Newsletter - from a firstborn daughter

NEWS FLASH!

WE R BACK!

You thought I finished?

Baby, I’ve only begun.

Hi,

My name is Dara.

At least that’s how I feel in my soul.

A girl, first-born, in every possible way lol.

First born daughter.

For some very odd reason, I’ve seen my life play out 77 times, and have agreed all 77 times to take on this world.

I still ponder why?

Maybe it was because I knew myself. I knew that the entire time, no matter what happens, I would be me, all the way through.

I probably knew that, or… I was a dumbass.

I mean who in their right mind chooses to get kidnapped, live with identity loss, survive life - alone the entire time?

I mean yeah no, I had family. Love and admire them so much. But please, this isn’t about you guys.. I love you, and am grateful.

But this is my story to tell.

What’s my story?

Let’s begin..

I wiped my mom’s tears when I was 4. Ever since then, I was me - consciousness had been woken within me since then.

And since then, it’s been a long journey of trying to make my mom smile.

See, her laughter alone could bring sunshines into the room - no matter what weather, what season, what day. You could count on her to bring in sunshine to wherever she went. Matter of fact, her mom; my grandma, nicknamed her Sun.

She was the Sunshine in our lives. Her mother’s extension. The original, one and only sun.

My grandma, brought together laughter from everyone in the room. That’s who she was. She fished deep to catch your heart on her string, and brought you to the surface, to live from the depths of your own feelings; you came out out of respect for her tranquility bonded with a luminiscent soul. She was just that woman.

Caught everyone’s attention. Was the most well-spoken, cahrismatic woman in the room. Heck stadiums, auditoriums, and every stage. She was born with a kind of light that belongs to the best of celebrities.

My mother, chose to live a humbler, quieter, life on smaller stages, being rooms she was in.

She didn’t try, she infact always kept humble, but somehow, the spotlight always found her.

Wherever she was- sunshine would simply follow.

Me, the firstborn daughter of two before me-

Well, I’d much rather the moon.

A quiet light, in the vastness of the night.

Showing grace, a quiet and serene light, to those willing to be guided.

I never saw myself as someone that guides, but just like the spotlight that followed my mom, this reputation that other’s simply followed, without me asking, followed me.

It’s deprived me.

Or so I resented, in my teens.

Came to realize quickly that it was just me giving myself guilt that wasn’t necessary.

I couldn’t escape it. No matter how hard I tried, and whilst trying to self-sabotage, i just caused myself embarrassment.

See, I always tried to push. Never pull.

Because I didn’t want to have ‘‘asked for it’’

In fact I didn’t want to ask for anything. Ever. Life taught me that.

I was born with a reluctance to speak rather than stay silent.

But I fought and fought and thought that learning to speak more was a part of life -

I’m here to tell you what the answer I found is;

Be who you were born as.

Your job in this lifetime we’ve got is to find out who your essence was before life affected; infected; changed; or ‘‘taught ‘‘you.

The teaching was just contaminating. Do not get shaped. And if you already have, break free.

You’re meant to connect your abilities you’ve developed with your senses, and utilize your vessel to share the gift you were born knowing.

You. might be asking; well what if I do, and everything goes wrong?

It will. No blooming without the rainstorm baby.

There’s no light without darkness.

No harvest without rain.

Fa inna ma’al usri yusra

Wa inna ma’al usri yusra.

There will always be problems. Just different kinds.

Life is not for the unwilling. We see that everyday.

Life is for the one who is willing, driven by what purpose? - doesn’t matter.

Life is for the willing.

You need grit, you need to utilize your free will You NEED to live. out. loud.

Not loud vocally. But in a way, fully expressing yourself! Fully, and I fully mean that.

Please live - being yourself, and carrying yourself well throughout the journey. Because all you have, that will be the only thing that matters, is how you carry yourself. Your character.

So if you take care of the character, what else could ever possibly matter?

- A firstborn daughter,

Hold your crown at the highest point and don’t flinch loves.

You got this,

A sis through the web, cheering you on everywhere I see you ;*